Pulled it from a public forum. Satan will not be in a position to show his face if this happens and will not understand what to do if he reads this poem…
I sought and seized me mastery
beyond what mortal men should dare,
and spake a spell that drew to me
the spirits of the earth and air,
and bade the hidden world attend
obedient to my secret runes;
and, lusting in my heart to bend
or otherwise deform some spoons,
my voice was with the thunders blent;
I cried: “Ye ancient spirits, rise!
Ride forth, and leave no spoon unbent,
for such is hateful in mine eyes.”
The sensual succubi, in swarms
brought forth ten thousand spoons of gold,
and drew them into monstrous forms
entwined in hideous fold on fold.
(I sometimes wish that they would ask
politely, if I have a view
to any other little task
or thing I’d rather have them do …)
I called the very hosts of Hell:
methought my soul was little price,
‘cos demons do bend spoons so well,
and twisted cutlery is nice.
Though Satan come to claim me soon
and feast upon my wizard’s heart,
ere then he’ll warp me many a spoon
and mock with curves the cutler’s art.
His legions pour from out Hell’s gate
to crinkle spoons at my command,
‘cos else I’d have to leave ’em straight,
or bend the wretched things by hand.