Well, you’ve heard of Jesse James and you’ve heard of Robin Hood.
Here’s the ballad of a bad man who was every bit as good.
This guy held up Chase Manhattan, unarmed and all alone,
With just a trusty home computer that was hooked up to his phone.
In the dead of night, he’d access each depositor’s account.
And from each of them he’d siphon off the teeniest amount.
And since no one ever noticed that there’d even been a crime,
He stole forty million dollars–a penny at a time.

Silicon Slim. Silicon Slim.
He’d pull a job and everyone would chip in.
King of the Program Skim.
God never made a greater data processor than Silicon Slim.

Little Jen was only eight, but she had her own account
And the seven dollars in it was to her a huge amount.
So the day that penny vanished, one unhappy little tot
Screamed, “Hey! What happened to my penny?!”
And the teller tried to tell ‘er but could not.

So the teller called an officer, who quickly took control.
He gave the kid a toaster so she wouldn’t tell a soul.
Then he rounded up a posse of the boys from M.I.T. (Yee Haw!)
They tracked him through the circuits and they trapped him
Like a possum up a tree.

Silicon Slim. Silicon Slim.
He picked the wrong kid’s piggy bankroll to trim.
As for his Program Skim,
They fingerprinted him, took his mug and pulled the plug on Silicon Slim.

Well, the judge said, “Give him life!” and threw him in the pen,
Saying, “Slim, you’ll never monkey with a microchip again.”
But the prison kept its records on an IBM machine.
Slim went in at 9 AM and was out by three-fifteen.

Is the whole of your withholding getting to the government?
Have you figured out your FICA to the hundredth of a cent?
Though the average Joe don’t even know how much his FICA was,
Out there somewhere there’s a software-packing buckeroo who does!

Silicon Slim. Silicon Slim.
His name will live after his terminal’s gone dim.
A truly democratic thief,
He found a way to pool the pain and grief.
And though he weren’t no cherubim,
Let’s hear it for that rootin’ tootin’ home-computin’ Silicon Slim.

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